This is my first post for this blog, ever, ever, ever.
This doesn’t mean I haven’t been around on the internet. I have. But, I know you’re curious, so I’ll explain the rationale for this blog, as I know I’ve done for all the numerous blogs I’ve played with over the years.
First, on anonymity.
I am No One. I’ve always been no one. I tried the popular blogging once, and I didn’t like what it did to me. I was a different person then and wasn’t willing to work through the personality shifts to get to be where I wanted to be, which is, namely.. holy.
Second, on Catholicism. By now, you’ve figured out I’m Catholic.
Smart one. 🙂 Nothing unusual. Let me tell you where I am.
I’m a happily married cradle catholic lady with 5 kids and have sorted out all my Catholic business. This means I’m not a cafeteria catholic.. (and on top of that).. nor do I judge anyone who is a cafeteria catholic or who’s sorting their stuff out. People are where they are, and God will sort them out. My job is to Love. Show Love. Be Love, wholly and entirely, someday.
So.. that should tell you this blog isn’t mean to degenerate any Johnny-come-latelys or Don’t-Know-If Catholics or non-Catholic Christians, for that matter. I welcome everyone to see what I’m trying to figure out on this blog. Which brings me to…
Third, This Priestly Blog.
I love my priests. But I don’t love my priest. I love all of Christ’s priests, all of them He has chosen and placed on this earth, but I am persnickity. I have preference of one over the other, when there is something within me that tells me I should have no preference. Does this have to do with personality conflicts, my level of sanctity (or lack thereof)? I don’t know. I’m just like everyone else. I just know I want to be better with my priest and priests.
Which brings me to…
Fourth, I want everyone to love their priest. The one right in front of them.
A few days ago, at the beginning of this week, actually, I had an epiphany. I was given the grace of .. thirsting for souls. What was it like? I cried. Like.. nonsense. I don’t know what it was about or where it came from (well, I know it’s all God). I do know I had been feeling this for awhile. I’d cried before. Every time I cried, like in Mass, it was always the same little feeling. Just.. cry. Not out of a feeling of sorrow or remorse. Just.. moved. I’ve had this moving feeling for awhile now.
What happened this past week was very, very different, though, because it felt like the whole entirely of my life’s tears were coming out of my face in 2 minutes. I had a distinct movement welling out of my soul that cried out to heaven. That movement wanted everyone with me.. every one of my family members, every one of my friends, every one I knew, and every one I didn’t know. With me. In communion with Christ.
During Mass, there had been a build-up, you see.. and that rush happened when I received Jesus.
And it was when I kneeling that I finally had clarity about the movement in my soul that had been occurring all that time: Jesus had been sharing with me His thirst for souls.
It’s a very tender feeling, one where you don’t care who anyone is, what they do, who they are. You wish you could give them your soul, if only they could see the little bit of insight that you yourself see. What God has allowed you to see. Because what you see.. well, it’s little, after all. I know that if we were to see what Jesus has in store for us, we’d die.
So.. this clarity. This thirst for souls.
The Director of Vocations for our diocese was saying Mass when this happened, and without any foresight, I went up to him after Mass and told him I wanted to help him with his office. Give everything. Deets are still unknown, but it’s a start. It’s my little fiat.
Because.. what I’ve understood since those moments (I wasn’t quite thinking through this when this all happened, you see) is that we need more priests. We need more priests to give us more of Jesus in the Eucharist, more sacraments, more pathways to holiness through Christ’s Holy Roman Catholic Church.
Without these, we are like any other protestant church floating through the wind, hoping for, but not quite anchoring, our salvation.
It’s a Catholic thing.
What makes us distinct is our priests. Without them, we’d be like any other fellowship group or church gathering.
Ours is the only Faith where there need be only *1* for Jesus to be present.
With every other belief, there need be two or more in His name.
Only a priest can do this. It’s a power bestowed on Him by Christ that makes the dignity of his soul higher than that of the angels.
Why, exactly, aren’t we celebrating this? .. that’s the purpose of this blog.
God bless you, sweetly and always. +++